More Sketches

Here's the second batch of sketches I found around my desk yesterday. Chickens, pigs, a pirate, a terrified paper boy... pretty basic stuff. The pigs aren't even wearing capes, which is admittedly quite boring. Sorry about that.

Some Sketches

I was cleaning around my desk today and found some old sketches that weren't as bad as some of the others. Most of them seem to be abandoned concepts from Toon Club topics. I'll post more of them another day.

How Was it Cancelled?

Okay, so no... this isn't a drawing. But I wanted to point out that the third and final season of Arrested Development went on sale today. If you want to buy it... sorry, you're too late. We went to Target to buy it tonight, and it was already sold out. So we went to Best Buy... sold out there too. What? A show that got cancelled due to lack of interest was sold out on the day of its release in multiple stores? How did that happen? A better question: Why did they cancel the best show ever? Man, I miss it. If you've never seen it, you may want to look into what character flaw of yours has caused this shortcoming.

I spent too much time tracking down my "Season 3" to draw anything tonight, but if you want to see some Arrested-based paintings, here's a link to my friend's portfolio: Blake Loosli. He did these a couple of years ago... they're great. I also love the "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" one. So enjoy his site for now, and check back here soon... more drawings and pointless commentary are on the way.

Run Through the Forest! RUN!

You may remember this raccoon from a drawing that I posted in July. His design is the best of the four of them, and that's because I didn't design him. My good bud Seth Hippen did... and I stole it! I forgot to give Seth credit then, so I decided I better mention it now and remind you all to go check out Seth's blog. He's incredible... an amazing artist, and about the nicest person I've ever met. Yeah, that's right... even nicer than YOU. Three cheers for Seth! Thanks for letting me steal your beautiful designs, Seth... and not complaining when I dumb them down to match my level of drawing ability. Hippen, Hippen - hooray!

Our New Couch

This is our new couch. It is as soft as the clouds in heaven where it was made. While I was testing our couch in the store, two women came over and sat beside me. One of them said, "See - this one's too soft?" Too soft? What are you... Goldilocks? The only job a couch has is "being soft." A football helmet can be too soft, but not a couch. Calling a couch too soft is like saying a cookie is too delicious. How dare you insult its only reason for existing? Too soft? Do you know what I say to that? "Soft couch... welcome home."

Froggy Went A Courtin'

In the song Froggy Went A-Courtin', isn't it kind of weird that the frog marries Miss Mouse? And why does Kermit date a pig? What's with frogs dating outside of their species? Frogs aren't attractive... that may be part of it. Another reason may be that it's very difficult to tell what gender a frog is, which is why frogs gravitate toward a Miss Mouse or a Miss Piggy... no confusion there. And maybe since frogs look so similar, inter-species dating is the best way for them to ensure they're not dating their sisters.

The Little Match Girl

Here's a little girl I designed a while back. I thought she turned out all right. She's for something that you'll probably never see, but if you do, you'll remember today as the day you first saw her. "Dear Diary..."

Also, I just added a link to an online store I made... it has some of my drawings on t-shirts and mugs and things. I put it there for my family, because a couple of them had said a while back that they wanted a shirt with one of my drawings on it. If anyone else wants to throw their money away, I'm gladly accepting royalties. And you other artists might want to consider making things too... in less than a week I already sold a shirt and a mug to people I don't know. I've made $2.85!

Rodent of Ridiculous Size

Themes have collided! This week's Toon Club topic was The Princess Bride, and I assume you're already aware of my recent obsession with rodents... or at least with things that can be classified as rodents because they don't resemble anything else. It was an easy call to go with the R.O.U.S. for this week's Toon Club piece, but then I got a little crazy and took the thing from "unusual size" to "ridiculous."

If I had a fast food restaurant, my drinks and fries would come in the following sizes: Petitishly Girly, Medium, Unusual, and Ridiculous. Sorry - we don't have "Large." I hate how every fast food place has its own confusing system for food sizes. When I ask for large fries at Wendy's, that means I want your largest container of fries. Oh, I was supposed to call them "Biggie." Yeah - saying that word doesn't make me feel stupid.

That reminds me of a story... in high school I worked at a college concession stand. That's where I found out that nacho cheese is made by adding water to yellow powder. Delicious. So anyway, the worst part of my job was when people ordered the Meal Deal or the Snack Pack, because those were the menu items that included fries, and the guy making the fries couldn't keep up, so if anyone ordred the Meal Deal or Snack Pack, your line would get backed up.

I came up with a solution. By simply adding a few Y's to the menu, I made it so no one wanted to order those items anymore. I proved that college students would refuse to order a "Mealy Dealy" or a "Snacky Packy," no matter how much they wanted fries. Such a thing would make them feel ridiculous... which is the size of this rodent. I'm glad I was able to wrap this story up on the original topic. Essay complete.

One Angry Chipmunk

Several years ago I was having a picnic with my family in Yellowstone... delicious peanut butter and honey sandwiches... and probably some Pringles... or maybe Cheetos. The menu of the picnic wasn't meant to be my point here, but I'm posting this during my lunch break instead of eating, so I suppose this food-based hang-up is to be expected.

So anyway, while we were eating... sweet, wonderful Cheetos... I looked up and saw a badger about twenty feet away running toward us. Seconds later, all of us were standing on the table as the badger circled below, hunting for fallen bits of food. Just as we began to wonder how we would ever get back to our car, a couple of Asian kids from the next table over came to our rescue... waving slices of bread over their empty heads as they sprinted over to feed the hungry badger. Apparently a bunch of people standing on a table wasn't enough indication to those kids that badgers are dangerous. On the other hand, panicked screaming proved to be quite universal, and the kids quickly retreated... where they stood with their parents on their picnic table.

If you can't tell the difference between a chipmunk and a badger I've drawn... hey - welcome aboard. But if you see one in the wild and don't know the difference, try offering it a slice of bread. If it eats the bread... chipmunk. If it eats your hand... badger. If it eats Cheetos... man, I'm starving.

The Headless-Horse Man

This week’s Toon Club topic is “circus freaks.” You’re probably thinking, “This doesn’t look anything like the Headless Horseman.” That’s because it’s not. This is the “Headless-Horse Man.” It’s easy to confuse the two of them… I bet they get each other’s mail.

I like the idea of circus freaks having ID badges… like circus security’s not going to believe they’re freaks. What picture do you put on a headless man’s ID? Maybe I’ll call the DMV with that one.

My wife said this was “gross.” I’m glad being headless also means you’re earless, because words hurt. Live strong, Headless-Horse Man.

Best Purchase Ever!

I just saw this on DisneyShopping.com this morning. About 30 seconds later, I had ordered one. We already have similar statues of Pinocchio, Mr. Toad, the Crocodile from Peter Pan, the Mad Hatter, Pongo, and Big Al... which reminds me - where are we going to put this? Our house ran out of room for these things long ago. I guess we could keep it in the tub, but then where will the Mad Hatter go?

Of all the things I've ever done with money, this Song of the South statue was the best... today. Though lunch was also pretty good.

Hooray for Rodents!

It's hard to draw people. If they don't look right, everyone notices and cringes in disgust, and babies begin to cry. On the other hand, audiences are quite forgiving of poorly drawn rodents with horribly distorted anatomy (see illustration above). That's why I draw a lot of rodents... my swamp creature, for example. What is that thing? There are so many rodents on the earth that we dare not be too critical. You say there's one that looks like that? Your guess is as good as mine.

These things I drew were supposed to be squirrels. Do they even look like squirrels? It doesn't matter. If I just call them "rodents," they're close enough. Thanks for taking the responsibility and research out of drawing, you rascally rodents!

Don't Call Me Dummy

Moments ago my little site got its 10,000th visitor! Ten thousand visitors?! Well, no... it's only about twelve different people, but you guys have been here a lot of times. Thanks for that! All of you who come here are the coolest! Which I believe is what is inscribed on the book the Statue of Liberty is holding.

I've also recently become a YouTuber. So far I've only uploaded one video. It's a song that my brother-in-law and I put together about how miserable it is to be a puppet. Just click here to watch it. It's about 4 minutes long, but the best stuff's at the end, so try to hang in there.

Circle of Life?

Don't you hate it when you're just sitting down to dinner and someone knocks on the door, or the phone rings, or a bigger animal eats you? It seems considerably more difficult to enjoy a meal when you're the one being eaten. This causes me to wonder... why is it called a "circle of life?" I guess that's the optimistic approach, but for half of the creatures involved, it's a circle of death. Maybe if we all start calling it that, eventually it will catch on.

Probably not, though... stupid Elton John.

Snowman or Snowmonster?

As I mowed the lawn yesterday, I wasn't too surprised when my head burst into flames. When I was done, I went inside and drew this. I've had about enough of summer.

Nothing beats a snowman for winter fun... unless you count a GIANT snowman! Several years ago I was at my sister's house when a huge snow storm hit. Using the snow from the yard, the neighbors' yards, and the street, we built the biggest snowman I've ever seen. It didn't melt away completely until late May. Every year since then we've wanted to make a bigger one, but there's never enough snow. This is a blueprint for what we hope to accomplish as soon as the right amount of snow arrives... hopefully this winter. And now I know where not to park.

Please excuse the background. It looked better last night while my head was still on fire.

Give Me FIVE

If you're here for the drawings, this will certainly be a disappointing post. Worst illustration ever... took me thirty seconds to draw and two minutes to color. Here's some trivia you can't possibly care about... just keeping it handy as a reference in case a donkey kicks me in the head:

5 Jobs I've Had:
1 - Cashier at a home hardware store
2 - Waiter at a sports grill
3 - Concession sales at a college
4 - Overnight desk clerk at a motel
5 - Dish washer at a fat farm

5 Places I've Lived:
1 - St. George, Utah
2 - Hamburg, Germany
3 - Las Vegas, Nevada
4 - St. Louis, Missouri
5 - Orem, Utah

5 Favorite Movies (Animated):
1 - Pinocchio
2 - The Incredibles
3 - Sleeping Beauty
4 - The Iron Giant
5 - The Jungle Book

5 Favorite Movies (Live Action):
1 - Mary Poppins
2 - Star Wars
3 - Life is Beautiful
4 - Raising Arizona
5 - Jurassic Park

5 Movies I've Basically Memorized:
1 - The Three Amigos
2 - Alice in Wonderland
3 - Fletch
4 - Airplane!
5 - A Christmas Story

5 Favorite Current TV Shows:
1 - The Office
2 - 24
3 - Lost
4 - Scrubs
5 - My Name is Earl

5 Favorite TV Shows of All Time:
1 - Arrested Development
2 - Seinfeld
3 - Cheers
4 - The Simpsons
5 - The Wonder Years

5 Favorite Foods:
1 - Berries
2 - Seafood
3 - Ice Cream
4 - Cinnamon rolls
5 - Sourdough bread

5 Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:
1 - Disneyland
2 - Yellowstone
3 - Disney World
4 - The Beach
5 - Home

5 Favorite Bands/Singers:
1 - John Denver
2 - Barenaked Ladies
3 - The Beatles
4 - Simon and Garfunkel
5 - Bread

5 Favorite Songs:
1 - Zip a Dee Doo Dah (Uncle Remus)
2 - Across the Universe (Rufus Wainwright)
3 - Mountain Spring (Barrage)
4 - Watching the River Run (Loggins & Messina)
5 - Happy-Go-Lucky-Me (Paul Evans)

5 Favorite Actors:
1 - Johnny Depp
2 - Owen Wilson
3 - Ewan McGregor
4 - Zach Braff
5 - Christopher Guest

5 Favorite Actresses:
1 - Charlize Theron
2 - Kate Beckinsale
3 - Julia Louis Dreyfus
4 - Parker Posey
5 - Jenna Fischer

5 Favorite Animated Characters:
1 - Brer Fox
2 - Jiminy Cricket
3 - Shere Khan
4 - Captain Hook
5 - Humphrey the Bear

5 Favorite Animals:
1 - Bears
2 - Pigs
3 - Sharks
4 - Tigers
5 - Seals

5 Favorite Restaurants:
1 - The Blue Bayou at Disneyland
2 - McGrath's Fish House
3 - Sonic
4 - The Pizza Factory
5 - The Biergarten at Epcot

5 Favorite Comedians:
1 - Brian Regan
2 - Jerry Seinfeld
3 - Gary Gulman
4 - Jim Gaffigan
5- Kevin James

5 People I Wish I Had Met:
1 - Chuck Jones
2 - Bill Peet
3 - Walt Disney
4 - John Denver
5 - Abe Lincoln

You should put one of these on your blog too... there's a lot of donkeys out there.

Shark Week!

I had to dig through my personal archives again for this old drawing. I wanted to draw something new to post on here, but who has any time for that when the Discovery Channel is having its annual Shark Week?

If you've read what I posted in April about Stupid Sharks, you already know that I have a bit of a "shark information" obsession. It's only Tuesday, and already Shark Week has taught valuable lessons like:

1 - Don't wear a watch in the ocean. Sharks think things that sparkle are fish tails, and they eat those, and will therefore eat you.

2 - When a great white attacks, it's like getting hit by a train. Someone actually said that. What unlucky sap has experienced a great white attack and a collision with a train? Luckily that person survived both events to point out the similarities to the rest of us.

3 - Sharks don't like the taste of humans. I suppose they've filled out surveys or selected Pepsi in a blind taste test or something.

Stupid sharks... I love 'em!

The Swamp Thing

Sometimes after you draw something, you look at it and go, "What?" Then you color it and put it on your blog.

This reminds me - I need to learn to play the banjo... or at least figure out how to draw one.

Dogs vs Cats (In Color)

I drew this in March, but I threw some color on it today because it seemed a nice fit for this week's Illustration Friday topic: Opposites. Dogs and cats both walk on four legs, and they're both pets, so I guess they're not too opposite... but they're as different as cats and dogs. Man, that was lame.

A Pirate's Life for Me!

I know A LOT about pirates. For instance, I know that they pillage and plunder and rifle and loot. I also know that they don't give a hoot about kidnapping or ravaging. And how do I know all of this? Certainly not from books. If there are books that mention pirates, I haven't read them. Turns out I'm not much of a reader. If not from books, then how? Well... pirates sang a song about it, of course. These pirates claim to be rascals, scoundrels, and such, but you don't see much to support that. What are the two things you always see pirates doing? Singing and dancing.

In Peter Pan, The Pirates of Penzance, The Pirate Movie, Muppet Treasure Island, and the Pirates of the Caribbean ride (which is based on the movie which is based on the ride), most of what we get is a kind of "Broadway at Sea." This fun-loving group of misfit marauders seems to be more interested in choreography than robbery.

What's with the terror in the faces of a ship's crew when they see a pirate ship raise its flag? Afraid of a pirate flag? Just pretend it's a disco ball... it means about the same thing (which, in retrospect, is indeed rather scary).

There is one pirate I know who doesn't sing or dance... he fixes track meets. Man, I love that movie! And that's who the middle pirate is based on.

Dam That, Beaver!

The largest known beaver dam was discovered near Three Forks, Montana. It was 2,140 feet long, 14 feet high, and 23 feet thick at its base.

I guess that's pretty impressive. But guess what... the Chinese built a dam that's 1.4 miles long and 630 feet high. Makes that dainty pile of tree branches and twigs near Three Forks seem pretty insignificant, doesn't it.

In your buck-toothed face... stupid beaver.

Missing Disneyland

In the last decade I've had five or six annual passes to Disneyland. One year when I was a student at BYU, I went to Disneyland 30 times. That's right... the BYU that's in Utah. And yet somehow I managed to spend a whole month of that year at Disneyland? Obviously I like it... or at least more than I like scholarly achievement.

So how is it that it's already July, and I still haven't been there yet in 2006? Now that I'm a cast member, I don't even have to pay to get in! What's my deal? I still have to hold off a couple more months. The heat and the crowds of summer aren't for me. But as soon as kids are back in school and we get some Fall-ish weather... there I'll be.

Here are a couple of pictures I took a while back on a rainy day at Disneyland. The one above was taken at about 5:00. I'd never seen Main Street so empty in the middle of the day. Rain does that. The one below was taken as my brother-in-law and I left the park about ten minutes after the rides closed... and NO ONE was left! Normally they leave the stores open for a while, but that night everything was locked and closed. I stopped to take a picture... I'd never seen so much of Disneyland empty. Not even a street sweeper?

To sum up - I miss Disneyland. Not "I'm Miss Disneyland." If there is such a pageant, I've never competed in it... much less won it. I need to get back to Disneyland soon, before I lose the little bit of "mind" I have left.

Our Enormous TV

Last Friday we got a 62-inch TV. I was at work when it was delivered so when I got home, I went straight to our family room. When I saw the giant thing... I laughed. Compared to the size of that room, our TV looks absurd. 62-inches isn't the biggest TV you can buy, but in a room where the furthest you can sit from it is about 10 feet... well, it's ridiculous. And I love it! We watched Finding Nemo that night. As the fish swam across the screen, I had to turn my head to follow. Wonderful!

I also played XBox. In Star Wars Battlefront, the Battle Droid I was using was about two feet tall. I could see Clones hiding in the brush from a few hundred yards away. I played Burnout, and the car I was driving was bigger than my actual car.

I've accomplished nothing since the TV's arrival... unless you count watching TV, in which case I've accomplished a TON. Why do we even have a family room... or a house, for that matter? It's all just somewhere to watch TV. Bring on football season!

Also... today is my 3rd anniversary. So happy anniversary to my lovely wife, to whom the last three years has probably seemed like 40.

Rub-A-Dub-Dub

If you're going to be stranded in a tub at sea, I figure the worst company you could ask for is a butcher and a baker... especially if you're dumb enough to provide them with a means to cook you.

Farewell, Candlestick Maker... I barely drew thee.

Some Raccoons

It's been over a week since I posted anything new on my blog. And it will be even longer, because although I'm posting something today, it's far from "new." I drew this a couple of years ago, and it's the only thing left in my "current" portfolio that I'm not ashamed of. Raccoons are fun to draw... especially when you don't let their actual anatomy influence how you're going to draw them. Take that, realism!

God Bless Aamerica!

Well, it's nearly another 4th of July... the day we celebrate our country's independence by blowing stuff up and starting wildfires that threaten our homes and our lives. Irresponsibility with fire is what freedom is all about... so hip hip for 230 years of independence and hooray for flame-retardant clothing!

This week's Toon Club topic was "Patriotism." I decided to branch out a little from the normal patriotic symbols and create a new one. Considering the endangerment of the bald eagle, it's time we shift our focus to a different animal... perhaps one whose livelihood won't be threatened by our freedom-loving, fireworking, forest burning ways. It's time we look abroad for a national symbol - one we can't kill off quite as easily. And so I present...

The Aardvark! (The extra "A" is for "America.")

Of unlikely interest to many if not all... the word "aardvark" means "earth pig," indicating that what we know as the common pig is possibly otherworldly. All the more reason to fear them and eat bacon.

The Grocestapo

The Grocestapo is the elderly gentleman in the grocery store who glares at you if you speak too loudly, or angrily scolds kids who run. To him, a grocery store has many unwritten rules of conduct, and he plans to enforce them... even the ones only he knows... which is most of them... or all of them.


"You have to buy any loaf of bread you touch," an old man once tried to teach me when I decided I'd rather go with the sourdough. I didn't listen to him, because the Grocestapo has no authoritative power. He's just an angry, old jerk.

After that many years of people running into you with grocery carts, and seeing your favorite brands and products discontinued, I suppose it's no wonder there's a Grocestapo in every grocery store I've ever been to.

Should you be wearing slippers in a grocery store, Grocestapo? Seems like you'd be on top of something like that.

The Day the Music Died

This week's Toon Club topic was "Alien Life Forms." And of everything I could have drawn... I came up with this? Let me explain how this ugly thing came to be.

On about my tenth sketch, I found a face I kind of liked, so I went with what you see here. When I tried drawing an alien-ish gun for him to hold, I thought, "What kind of gun is that? It looks like a trumpet." So I made the "gun" a little more trumpety, threw a marching band uniform on him, and called it done.

Once again - an idea is born from my lacking ability to draw what I mean to draw. That seems to be my secret. It's amazing how creative you start to seem when your inabilities force you to make concessions. And as long as I'm making concessions, I could really go for a churro and a Coke.

Beware marching band... someone among you doesn't belong.

Pinocchio

Last night I saw a special on TV: AFI's 100 Years... 100 Cheers. It was the American Film Institute's countdown of the most inspiring films of all time. And of the 100 movies on the list, only one was animated. You've probably figured out which movie that is already, because you're a genius, and also because I've provided a few subtle hints. That's right... wedged in there between Forrest Gump and Star Wars at #38 was my favorite movie ever: Pinocchio!

Pinocchio was REALLY inspiring to me on a personal level. Every kid loves cartoons, but that movie was the one that made me never out-grow them. Everyone I know who works in animation has a movie or a cartoon that inspired them to get into that field. Pinocchio is mine. I love it! The story, the animation, the backgrounds, the music... all wonderful! The first CD I ever owned was the Pinocchio soundtrack. Second... John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together.

In case you're interested, the full list is available on AFI's site. Number one on the list was It's a Wonderful Life. I guess I can accept that, even though it's no Pinocchio. Also worth noting... I hit the list at #53. Dead Poet's Society is more inspiring than me? Hardly.

Hooray for PIXAR!

PIXAR has done it again! If you haven't seen Cars yet, you can still read this. I won't give anything away. I saw Cars twice on its opening day, and to sum up... I absolutely LOVE it! PIXAR's track record remains perfect... the best movie studio ever. John Lasseter for President! I even wore a Hawaiian shirt to work today in honor of him.

The movie is funny, sad, sentimental, touching, sweet, good, entertaining, and everything else that a movie should be. The voice casting was perfect, the backgrounds were beautiful, the lighting gorgeous, the detail amazing... and I can't believe the animators were able to get so much life and expression out of CARS! But above all, the thing that has made all of PIXAR's movies so great... STORY!

This is the part where I don't give anything away. Too bad - there's so much I could say. Go see it now! And don't leave before the credits are done like most of the people in our theater did. I was happy to see a tribute to Joe Ranft... a key reason this movie's story was so full of heart and fun.

I would love to get to work with the PIXAR story people some day. Story's what I do and what I love, and no one does it like them. I need to get in there and learn from them before any of them leave, taking their story sense with them. They have a storage shed full of my portfolios... eventually I'll draw something to get their attention. It just hasn't happened yet.

PIXAR continues to save animation... my favorite of all forms of entertainment. Until I finally am given an opportunity to be a part of PIXAR, I remain one of their biggest fans. Hooray for them! Hooray for Cars!

Racing is for Sissies

This is my recent Toon Club drawing for "The Wild West." I'm hoping someone picks "The Tortoise and the Hare" soon so I can re-post this and use the time I save for important things like killing snakes. Which reminds me... the death toll has increased to three.

It has been brought to my attention that the hare's gun is considerably flawed. To begin with, there are no bullets in his 4-shooter. I think the larger hurdle he faces is his gun's "no trigger" feature. I don't have a lot of experience with guns in my life. I figure my drawing resembles a gun more than the thing I used to use to shoot ducks on Nintendo. Hey, I'm a storyboarder... go to the design people if you want precision. I offer poorly executed sketches of mildly entertaining ideas... nothing more.

The Sandwich of Monte Cristo

I love the Blue Bayou Restaurant at Disneyland - that's the restaurant you sail by at the beginning of The Pirates of the Caribbean. The setting is great, but the only real reason I go is the Monte Cristo Sandwich. It's the best sandwich ever! "Mmmm" is for "Monte Cristo."

Since it's the best sandwich to ever exist on the planet, I was willing to pay $10.99 for one in 2000. Last December when I was there, I was still willing to pay $12.99. When The Pirates of the Caribbean re-opens later this month, so will the Blue Bayou. The Monte Cristo Sandwich will cost $18.99.

$18.99... for a sandwich? Years ago the sandwich came with an apple. When the price went up, the apple was replaced by a small side of pasta salad. The new, crazily-priced sandwich will come with soup or a salad and two side dishes. If one of my side dishes is "gold coins," I suppose the new price is somewhat reasonable. The sandwich alone is quite filling. Who wants to pay that much for a ton of food that's just going to end up on the floor of a Big Thunder Montain train car?

Obviously people will want to share such an enormous meal. That's why they've added a new "plate splitting" charge of $4.99 for people who had hoped to make the sandwich affordable in that way.

I would prefer that Disneyland hire someone to beat me up and take my wallet at the front gate, then charge reasonable prices for things in the park. Either way they end up with all my money, but instead of resenting the Happiest Place on Earth, I'd just dislike the guy who kicked my crotch and cracked my skull on the way in.

At least gas prices are reasonable, or how could I ever afford to go to Disneyland?

Endangered Fishing

Last weekend while playing the part of "Montana tourist," I went fishing for my first time ever... well, unless you count ice fishing, which I'm not going to for some reason. How did I get this far through life without ever fishing? Don't underestimate my other accomplishments... I've watched a lot of TV and memorized a lot of commercial jingles.

There were five people in our fishing boat that trolled the shore lines in the rain for two hours. Combined, we caught about 15 fish. Delicious? Not so fast! Every fish we caught was a bull trout, and that meant that every fish we caught was "endangered," and had to be released back into the lake.

Endangered? Who decided that? Clearly it wasn't anyone who has fished that lake. Despite their obvious handicap of biting on to every passing hook, bull trouts appear to be thriving. And if they are endangered, and the 15 fish we caught were the last 6 of their kind in existence, don't they deserve to die off? Discriminate, fish! No species ever survived while eating everything that sparkles!

If we keep throwing them back, rewarding their smug carelessness with a continued life of hook-biting, how will they ever learn? Someday someone's going to fish that lake who doesn't throw the fish back, and then they'll really be gone. It's time we hold these arrogant bull trout responsible for their hook-biting ways before they kill themselves off.

Some Old Gestures

I haven't added anything to my blog in over a week. I was out of town. I'll get back to this soon. Until then, enjoy some of my old gesture drawings... if you dare.

The Warthawk

Two days after drawing the Sealbearpig I found out that the new Toon Club topic was Crazy Crossbreeds. I didn't want to re-use something I'd already drawn for my Toon Club post, so I set out to develop something "new." I wanted it to be ugly. So what's ugly? Warthogs. Is there an animal name that sounds like "hog?" Hawk. That was the extent of my creative process. What a marvelous insight!

I have to mow the lawn again today. It's too bad the warthawk doesn't exist yet... I bet snakes would be in trouble if these things roamed the skies. Of course, I'd be in trouble too. In a world with warthawks, everything's in danger.

I just can't seem to get away from the flying pigs.

Murdering Snakes

Returning from the mailbox a couple days ago I was pants-wettingly startled to see a 3-foot snake curled up in our flower bed. I hate snakes... especially snakes that scare me so bad that my excitement about finally getting my Johnny Cash CD's in the mail is ruined. I grabbed a shovel with my jittery hands, and - well... the snake put up a good fight, but in the end the shovel was just too darn snake-splattery for him to have a chance.

Killing that snake reminded me of one time when I was mowing the lawn and accidentally ran over a snake on purpose. I remembered it like it was yesterday... because it was last Thursday. How many times do you have to run over a snake with a mulching lawn mower before its matter ceases to exist? The answer is three.

I never killed a snake in my life, and then I killed two in the space of five days. I felt bad both times, but I know if I see another one, I'll do it again. I guess I could find a way to lure the next one into a bucket and then drive it out to the canyon and release it peacefully in its new home. Yeah, that's gonna happen. And next time I see a shark at the beach I'll take it by the fin and guide it to a distant shore.

I hate snakes! And if they've been talking to each other, I'm guessing they're not too fond of me either.

Sealbearpig

After realizing yesterday that I have way too many seals, bears, and pigs on my blog, I decided to add even more. I combined all three and created a single, unattractive beast... the Sealbearpig. This keeps my blog from becoming one dimensional by adding nearly a quarter of a dimension... possibly less.

Abandoned Hog

This is one of my abandoned sketches for our Animal Farm week on Toon Club. I decided not to use it due to a few things that were bothering me. One - he looks too much like Runt from Disney's Chicken Little as a grumpy, old hog. Two - he's just standing there, and that's boring, and so is his pose. And three - pigs don't smoke.

It seems that I tend to draw an overabundance of pigs, bears, and seals. I should branch out, but I probably won't.

O Brother, What Art Thou?

In my attempt to do something Animal Farm based, I started aimlessly drawing pigs in clothes. The pig on the left was my fifth or sixth sketch. He reminded me of Pappy O'Daniel in "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" That became my inspiration. I based the rest of the drawing and colors on that theme, still trying to include the idea of the evolution of the pigs from Animal Farm.

If a pig had wings, it would be an eagle. If a pig wore clothes, it would be Charles Durning.

Shere Khan

This week's Toon Club topic was the hardest one since "Captain Hook." I really don't think there's any way to improve on the character designs that Disney used in some of their movies. Here is a disappointing version of Shere Khan... one of the best film villians ever! I especially love the scene when he picks Kaa's nose, and that villain interaction is what inspired the drawing I used. The full drawing is on Toon Club... you can check it out there. I was disappointed in the way that Louie and Kaa worked out, so I left them out of this one.

The Incriminating Bowtie

"I think that the seal with the yellow bow tie might be the one that I released into the sea after giving it the taste for mammal blood." -Gob

If you don't understand what I'm talking about, I hold YOU partially responsible. You killed it. Way to go.

Slue-Foot Sue

Ah, yes... my very first cartoon crush. Just to clarify, my crush was on the lovely, red-headed Slue-Foot Sue from Pecos Bill... not her fish. Although I guess he's kind of attractive too if that's your type. A giant fish seems an odd form of transportation for someone who lives in the desert... or any sized fish for that matter. Maybe Sue's not all there upstairs. It hardly matters to me.

Suck It

Last Friday at my wife's company's softball game, a cute, little 3-year-old in a butterfly shirt came over and asked if I wanted a piece of her candy. She held out a little mint, but I passed.

She said: "If you decide you want one later, then you can just suck it."

If you don't think that's one of the coolest things a kid's ever said, why don't you just go ahead and suck it?

Mr. Invisiblegs

It’s a good thing there’s Toon Club, or what would I ever post on my blog? I’m planning on getting around to doing something original soon, but for now it’s another double dip from Toon Club… this week’s topic: “Unnecessary Superheroes.”

I had several ideas when I began to sketch. There was The Check, who painted big, red check marks on stuff he came across... a cow, a garbage can, a police officer. He was basically compiling a checklist of things he’d seen without the paper-wasting practice of using a list.

Then there was The Elevator… a muscle-bound bellhop with a cape.

I had also considered Disapprover. He didn’t do anything to correct injustices – he just watched in the distance with arms folded, shaking his head.

I actually liked my sketch of Action Pig. He had no powers at all... just a name and a sketch. Maybe I'll post him on here someday.

Mr. Invisiblegs was born of laziness. Since I wasn’t sure which of those ideas I was going to go with, I just started sketching some designs of random superheroes that could pass for any of the ideas. On my fourth sketch, I came up with a head and upper body that I thought were working okay… so I quit. Fill in the cape, and there you go – Mr. Invisiblegs. Sometimes “lazy” is the key ingredient to an okay idea. This is the only example I can think of.

The White Rabbit

This rabbit's panic and anxiety sums up the last month of my life... I've had way too much to do and not enough time to do it. Things are starting to settle down, though. Time for a much-needed break. I better go to Disneyland.

Yeah, I know - those slippers are way to small for his feet. Have you ever tried to find bunny slippers in a size 22? Not an easy task.

When Pigs Fly

As a student several years ago, I applied to BYU's illustration program. They turned me down. I met with the head of the department to ask what I could do better. He told me I would never be an artist and I should try a different major.

Now I'm working for Disney and teaching animation and illustration classes at the same university that told me I'd never be an artist. Never? Luckily for me, "never" only takes a few years. I didn't have to wait for pigs to fly... I made them do it myself. Ah, the magic of drawing! That's why there's a flying pig on my blog's title. They've become the mascot of my career.

Little pig, not too big,
You have wings. I don't.
Should a plane fly overhead,
You may die. I won't.

I should also point out that the illustration program was right... I was terrible.

Chili with Nachos or Somethin'

As I walked through the Wal-Mart parking lot yesterday, a handsome couple inspired to me to draw this. They seemed quite concerned as they inspected the car's floor together, and as I passed I heard her say:

"Maybe you had some chili in some nachos or somethin'."

Did they disregard some substance in their car for such a long time that it had become unrecognizable? Or were they comprising a comprehensive "vomit ingredients" list? Maybe they just realized for the first time that their car and their clothes and their hair and their skin smell awful, and they were trying to find something other than their shoddy grooming habits to blame for it. Whatever the case, her comment combined with their appearance was GOLD! It was clear they needed to be featured on my blog.

Trashy, confused Wal-Mart couple who's stuck in the 80's... you're an inspiration to me.