Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Warthawk

Two days after drawing the Sealbearpig I found out that the new Toon Club topic was Crazy Crossbreeds. I didn't want to re-use something I'd already drawn for my Toon Club post, so I set out to develop something "new." I wanted it to be ugly. So what's ugly? Warthogs. Is there an animal name that sounds like "hog?" Hawk. That was the extent of my creative process. What a marvelous insight!

I have to mow the lawn again today. It's too bad the warthawk doesn't exist yet... I bet snakes would be in trouble if these things roamed the skies. Of course, I'd be in trouble too. In a world with warthawks, everything's in danger.

I just can't seem to get away from the flying pigs.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Murdering Snakes

Returning from the mailbox a couple days ago I was pants-wettingly startled to see a 3-foot snake curled up in our flower bed. I hate snakes... especially snakes that scare me so bad that my excitement about finally getting my Johnny Cash CD's in the mail is ruined. I grabbed a shovel with my jittery hands, and - well... the snake put up a good fight, but in the end the shovel was just too darn snake-splattery for him to have a chance.

Killing that snake reminded me of one time when I was mowing the lawn and accidentally ran over a snake on purpose. I remembered it like it was yesterday... because it was last Thursday. How many times do you have to run over a snake with a mulching lawn mower before its matter ceases to exist? The answer is three.

I never killed a snake in my life, and then I killed two in the space of five days. I felt bad both times, but I know if I see another one, I'll do it again. I guess I could find a way to lure the next one into a bucket and then drive it out to the canyon and release it peacefully in its new home. Yeah, that's gonna happen. And next time I see a shark at the beach I'll take it by the fin and guide it to a distant shore.

I hate snakes! And if they've been talking to each other, I'm guessing they're not too fond of me either.

Friday, May 19, 2006


After realizing yesterday that I have way too many seals, bears, and pigs on my blog, I decided to add even more. I combined all three and created a single, unattractive beast... the Sealbearpig. This keeps my blog from becoming one dimensional by adding nearly a quarter of a dimension... possibly less.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Abandoned Hog

This is one of my abandoned sketches for our Animal Farm week on Toon Club. I decided not to use it due to a few things that were bothering me. One - he looks too much like Runt from Disney's Chicken Little as a grumpy, old hog. Two - he's just standing there, and that's boring, and so is his pose. And three - pigs don't smoke.

It seems that I tend to draw an overabundance of pigs, bears, and seals. I should branch out, but I probably won't.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

O Brother, What Art Thou?

In my attempt to do something Animal Farm based, I started aimlessly drawing pigs in clothes. The pig on the left was my fifth or sixth sketch. He reminded me of Pappy O'Daniel in "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" That became my inspiration. I based the rest of the drawing and colors on that theme, still trying to include the idea of the evolution of the pigs from Animal Farm.

If a pig had wings, it would be an eagle. If a pig wore clothes, it would be Charles Durning.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Shere Khan

This week's Toon Club topic was the hardest one since "Captain Hook." I really don't think there's any way to improve on the character designs that Disney used in some of their movies. Here is a disappointing version of Shere Khan... one of the best film villians ever! I especially love the scene when he picks Kaa's nose, and that villain interaction is what inspired the drawing I used. The full drawing is on Toon Club... you can check it out there. I was disappointed in the way that Louie and Kaa worked out, so I left them out of this one.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Incriminating Bowtie

"I think that the seal with the yellow bow tie might be the one that I released into the sea after giving it the taste for mammal blood." -Gob

If you don't understand what I'm talking about, I hold YOU partially responsible. You killed it. Way to go.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Slue-Foot Sue

Ah, yes... my very first cartoon crush. Just to clarify, my crush was on the lovely, red-headed Slue-Foot Sue from Pecos Bill... not her fish. Although I guess he's kind of attractive too if that's your type. A giant fish seems an odd form of transportation for someone who lives in the desert... or any sized fish for that matter. Maybe Sue's not all there upstairs. It hardly matters to me.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Suck It

Last Friday at my wife's company's softball game, a cute, little 3-year-old in a butterfly shirt came over and asked if I wanted a piece of her candy. She held out a little mint, but I passed.

She said: "If you decide you want one later, then you can just suck it."

If you don't think that's one of the coolest things a kid's ever said, why don't you just go ahead and suck it?