Sunday, July 18, 2010

Filthy Animals

As I watched volunteers cleaning the unfortunate animal victims of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, I thought, "What a great thing to do... but why stop there? Aren't all animals stinky and gross?" A walk in the rain or a river crossing is the closest most of them ever get to taking a bath, and those activities so rarely involve soap that I'm not even sure they count.

Monkeys get clean by picking bugs out of each other's back hair... and then they eat the bugs they find. That's a little bit like taking a bath except, where a bath makes you clean, this just makes you disgusting. Other animals, such as lions, clean their young by licking them. In that way, a lion's tongue is like a wash cloth... a wash cloth that was just used to clean out a zebra's carcass.

So don't think you have to go all the way to the Gulf of Mexico to clean animals. Grab a brush and some shampoo and start tidying up the animals where you live. The ones that don't kill you will be slightly less gross because of the service you provide.


Ben said...

Hahaha!! Another great post. But I am surprised that bear is so happy without munching on small children.

Good luck bathing your gold fish. Something tells me it won't be as happy as that bear.

Alana Tolley said...

I went to the rodeo this weekend and sat 6 rows behind some deficating cows. I thought of you and wished some of those animal bathers would come here...

Ken Chandler said...

My favorite clean animal fact is that deer mothers will eat their babies defecation in order to hide them from predators. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids but if I were a deer I'd miss the little tykes.
Maybe that's why I wasn't reincarnated as a deer. Go figure!

Incredible sketch as ever Shane.
Happy belated 4th! Your eagle is just as jolly as Santa Claus. I want to see an animation of him trying to get off the ground. A side-splitter!

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA! Awesome.