Monday, February 26, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Through my site meter I'm able to track how people arrive at my blog. I'm amazed at what people are searching for... and amazed that it brings them here. These are some of my recent favorites:
- Are soft couches good?
- Zombie Cruise
- Where to buy Cheetos in Hamburg
- Chipmunks, how it eats
- When you are afraid of sharks, how you called that phobia
- What do cheetahs do?
I like how some people apparently ask Google questions instead of just searching key words. "Dear Google... what do cheetah's do?" A poorly worded search such as that can yield poor results full of inaccurate information. Next time try something simple like "cheetah behavior." But since you're already here: cheetahs sleep, sit, run, stand, walk, eat, lie down, breed, hunt, blink, yawn, and die.
And as long as I'm responding to Google searches... a couch is only as wonderful as it is soft. Zombie cruises are currently unavailable because zombies are more interested in inflicting property damage than they are in playing shuffleboard at sea. Twelve years ago you could get peanut butter and root beer at Karstadt in Hamburg... they might have Cheetos. "Chipmunks" is the plural form of "chipmunk." Therefore, it's impossible to answer how "it" eats because chipmunks are "they." Nice riddle, though. And Selachophobia is how I called when I am afraid of sharks.
Friday, February 16, 2007
I've learned a lot from playing cell phone poker:
1 - There is no money in cell phone poker, but you don't lose any either.
2 - Don't ever go "all in" on a "7-high."
3 - It's very difficult but not impossible to bluff a cell phone.
This is my version of The Tortoise and the Hare. I'm not sure why I put a casino spin on it. I lived in Las Vegas when I was a kid, so maybe gambling is still in my blood, or at least in my blue Col-erase pencil.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Friday, February 09, 2007
This is the same way that country songs are written. First you think of stuff that makes you cry, then you make all the stuff rhyme, and then you sing it while wearing a big hat. Wonderful, forced emotion.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Based on the weird things Lewis Carroll wrote, I would not doubt that he had plenty of conversations with walruses, but the rest of us would likely find that quite impossible due to the common belief that walruses do not speak... not of shoes, nor of ships, nor of sealing wax. So for this story to be at all believable, we are to logically assume that the carpenter is completely insane. I picture him a Robinson Crusoe-like character who forces the local marine life to wear clothes he makes out of driftwood and then has conversations "with" them about cabbages and kings.
Tom Hanks befriended a volleyball. The carpenter? A dignified walrus chap.