Friday, August 03, 2007

The Battle of Endor

When I was a kid, I had over a hundred Star Wars action figures. By the time my mom sold them all at a garage sale without telling me so she could estrange me for the most depressing years of my childhood, most of them were pretty battle-scarred. Because of their tattered appearance and their status as "not yet collectible," the whole set, including the Millennium Falcon and five or six other play sets, sold for much less than they should have. If you're the one who bought all my Star Wars toys, I'll buy them back from you for more than ten times the amount you spent on them in 1985. I am writing you a check right now for $3.62. Why would my mom sell my Star Wars toys? I've asked her... there's no answer.

I drew this for the Avalanche blog... the topic was Stupid Star Wars Characters. I've always loved the old Star Wars movies, but even as a kid I remember being a little disappointed that the final battle between the Empire and the Rebels came down to a forest shoot-out between aim-disabled Stormtroopers and teddy bears with sticks. If you were picking teams for a galactic battle, I'm pretty sure the battle would be "locked" long before any Ewoks or Stormtroopers were drafted.

21 comments:

Loni Edwards said...

I am so bummed for you and your Star Wars figures! I was going to give my daughter's old books to my niece, and my daughter promptly said, "Why are you giving away my memories?" Ack. Back in the box they go, into the garage, awaiting her approval to give away at a later day. I feel for you man. Great illo, love the little ewok (of course!) Your style is very good.

Erin Middendorf said...

those bummy stormtroopers. I love your picture and I am sorry for your loss.

Lauren said...

I have a similar experience. Whenever my mother and father would get in a fight, my Dad would go into the garage and start throwing stuff away. Sometimes it included bags of old toys that my mother had put into the garage for storage. I lost a My Little Pony plush, a Popple, and a couple Rainbow Brights that way. But then I guess those still wouldn't be worth anything.

Alikins said...

awwwwww, that stinks! there are just certain things moms need to not touch. i know, i'm a mom. my daughter is like me though & loves star wars, x-men & cars, [as well as dollies & teddy bears]. i can't bring myself to get rid of any of her things ~ & she's only 5! we're going to need a much bigger house! or maybe just add on a storage unit, hmmmm ...

anyway, i tend to ramble when i'm not feeling well, so, i apologize shane & i'll shut up now :)

oh wait! i LOVE your illo, and as always, LOVE your story behind it :)

Jay said...

Shane- This is brilliant.

Peter Walser said...

ROTFL! Some of Palpatine's best troopers! Yeah, right!

Zach said...

That's insane. I just had a similar experience only it was by choice...kinda. My litle girl kept asking and asking when we were going to Disneyland. I finally decided to sell my whole Star Wars collection to pay for the trip. I had been collecting the toys since I was 18 and got more than enough to cover the trip. The time we had in Disneyland with my family was worth WAY more than some toy collection but every now and then I do shed a tear for the beloved men and women of plastic that once were.

Again... AWESOME stuff! Love your illustrations!!!

Peter Walser said...

Oh, yeah. I responded to your e-mail, Lewis!

Ken Chandler said...

Your illustration tells it all. "Couldn't hit a broad-side of a barn if it fell on 'em." Hilarious!
Sorry about your Star Wars collection. My parents sold my Legos and comic books. Somehow my Star Wars figures survived-- now my son's got 'em but doesn't think they're nearly as cool as I did when I was a kid. Kids don't know what's good for 'em anymore!

Rayne said...

I thought the teddy bears with sticks were the best part of the whole Star Wars thing.
I am so sorry your mom sold your action figures. I think mothers sometimes forget how much something can mean to kids and look at them as just clutter.

Andrew Glazebrook said...

Shooooooooooooot that Ewok !!!!

Brandon Waltman said...

this is classic. i imagine this scene going on for another 10-15 minutes until somebody either gets poked, shot, or just gives up and moves on...most likely the last one.

i really love this

L. D. Torres said...

Loved it, laughed my butt off, Shane, you're amazing.

Tina Vaziri said...

The stormtroopers were blinded by too much cuteness. It was a very sad day for them.

Ghassan Lafi said...

You may draw pictures of your starwars toys in the memento of their loss. You may show how much you miss them. This will bring the others much more to answer your appeal.

Respect,

eachean said...

It'll go on until Wicket swings by and bonks them on their amazingly armored heads with a stick and they go down like rag dolls - gotta love the Empire and their advanced gear.

Eli Edmundson said...

Ewoks have killer rabbits with big nashy teeth that decapitate stormtroopers, the film failed to show these clips due to the gore involved. Great illustration, brought back the memories.

B Beach said...

This is a great one! I love it and absolutely agree. Ewoks suck. You're the best artist in the whole wide world! I love the background and charaters, great work!

Jenn said...

this makes me chuckle everytime I see it :)

MrSuspenders said...

I also like how you captured the fact that storm troopers cant hit anything despite what Obi-wan says about precise aiming.

Andrew Glazebrook said...

This is still a favorite of mine !!