This morning when I turned on the kitchen light, I was horrified to find a terrible thing on our kitchen table. Staring at me from right there where I had hoped to eat breakfast... a human skull. What the crap?! Is this some kind of joke? Who did this?
This kind of thing happens to me every year on the first of November. What was festive and fun the day before becomes deplorable over night. Waking up to November is like waking up from hypnosis. Why did I decorate my house that way? And what was I wearing? The minute Halloween ends, I'm ready to move on.
In moving on, though, I don't like to skip straight from Halloween to Christmas. As of today I expect to hear Christmas music and see holiday displays showing up in stores. But what about November? Pretending November doesn't exist is disrespectful to the fat, ugly, stupid turkey I'm going to be eating in 22 days... and if there's anything I have for turkeys, it is respect... and gravy.