Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Country Music

Country music is an acquired taste. I've never met anyone who said they loved it the first time they tried it, but after they get caught up in it, it takes control of their lives to the point where they can't survive without it. Like addictive drugs, country music has a dulling effect on the human mind, and after a while, people confuse their state of disorientation and dizziness for an actual fondness toward the thing that originally caused them to gag.

I've been offered country music on many occasions by people who I thought were my friends. Even family members have tried to lure me into the inescapable, brain-cell-killing trap of country music. They've said things like, "Here, let me just play this one song for you... I think you'll like it." One song? Is that all you want me to try? Yeah, I bet... and the next thing I know, you're changing the radio presets in my car and buying me country CD's for my birthday. Then a year from now I've given up the will to fight, and my life sounds like a never ending hoedown. I've seen so many lives ruined by this kind of dependency on country music... so, no - I won't listen to "just one song." I don't need country music to be happy.

If my feelings on country music have outraged you so much that you don't even want to visit my blog anymore... please, before you leave, take a moment to consider what's causing this passionate response. Haven't I said terrible things about puppies, bears, sharks, killer whales, and everything else? And the most you've ever done is thought, "I feel sorry for his wife." Your intense devotion to country music over everything else should be an indication to you that you do, in fact, have a problem. If country music was taken from you, how much would you pay to get it back? You would steal country music from your family, wouldn't you? Look what you've become!

That being said, there are actually a few country songs that I've accidentally heard and kind of liked, but that doesn't mean I have a problem, so stop worrying about me... I can quit anytime.

20 comments:

Artist Anika said...

That's great, lol. People have tried so hard to drag me down into the country music spiral of hell, but I've been strong; ignored the peer pressure. If I can do it (in UTAH of all places), you can too!

Pablo said...

Hahaha. Words that are so true. Great drawing as always. Alot of character.

Todd Oman said...

Yeah I know what you are talking about my sister got hooked on country music and it took an intervention to put a stop to it. I think she had a hard time taking a good look in the mirror and realizing she was wearing a cowboy hat and lived in Los Angeles.

spando2 said...

Right on the money. My brother became an addict when he bought a truck, needless to say it was disappointing. Great combo of art and clever commenting by the way.

Amber said...

I never cease to be amazed by your wisdom :o) I always thought that I hated country music because I, *ahem*, have good taste. But, maybe it is just primeval self-preservation kicking in.

Tyler said...

Can I spot people addicted to country music by the size of their Adam's Apple? If so, there's no hope for this guy.

Francesco Malin said...

Great monologue and character awesome!

Anonymous said...

LOL! Replace Country with 80's music and you have me!

Jenny said...

DON'T EVER GIVE IN! LOL! I did, and though I wouldn't say it is my favorite, I do find myself flipping to that dang radio station on occasion. Course, I get made fun of for my club/dance junk so whatever! I love you're cute little old country guy, it reminds me of Bar J in Jackson Hole WY. Don't go there...they just play country, BUT it's a dang funny show and they all look just like this guy! Love it!

Tyler Roberts said...

I object! Not that I love country music, but your drawing has created immediate bias, Shane. How about instead of this old piece driftwood character, you do an image of someone more pleasing like Faith Hill or Taylor Swift.

Ken Chandler said...

To whom will you turn when your wife, your dog, and your horse die? Only country musicians know the burden you bear when confronted with these life challenges, and only they can tell you that the best medicine in each of these scenarios is to go fishing.

And I have to ask, do all country singers have bushy eyebrows and mustaches? I'd like to see Shania Twain sporting those Fuller brushes. Hubba hubba.

Ben said...

You said it. Any kind of person that sings songs about either their wife, truck or dog leaving them cannot be counted as real music. Besides, who really cares about the b-b-q stain on their white shirts anyway? They already have belt buckles the size of their heads.

Great work, Shane!

L. D. Torres said...

I'm happy for you , Shane, and I'ma let you finish...
But Beyonce had one of best videos of all time!

Heather said...

I've had a ton of people tell me that once I listen to it for a while, I'll like it. Nope. I grew up near Heber City. All country music reminds me of are crappy high school dances and the stinky hallway full of rednecks by the FFA building. Nothing against rednecks or anything - the ones I'm talking about were jerks who spit 'dip' on the floor. Gotta love those high school memories.

roby said...

fantastic!

Will Appledorn said...

hahaha!

so true

Heather D. White said...

Are you for real? COuld anyone really be this good at writing, animation, etc.? Good crud Shane....CRAZY hilarious! Thanks for an entry that made me just about wet my pants. Classic stuff. And definitely a much needed, much appreciated laugh. Your talent realky is ridiculous.

steveandsteph said...

Shane,

I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one. As my good friend Bo Shaheen once said, "Country Music is like the gospel, just give it a chance and you'll know it's true."
-Steve P in St. Jorge

Valerie said...

When I was growing up my parents said things like, "What is that awful racket?" and "Turn the radio down!" I vowed I would stay current with music so I could enjoy it with my children instead of just endure it. I can truthfully say that I love pop and rock as much now as I did in high school. But my children started listening to Country and I find myself saying things like "What is that awful racket?" and "Turn the radio down!"

*The Johnson's* said...

I'm going to have to agree with Steph. America was founded on country music. Where would we be without those tight wrangler butts and cowboy boots? ;)