Saturday, July 04, 2009

The Patriotter

I wanted to draw something patriotic to celebrate the 4th of July, and somehow I ended up with this American-hat-wearing river otter... or as I will stupidly refer to it, the Patriotter. If it weren't for the founders of this nation I call home, I probably would have just been taxed by our British overlords for calling this animal something as stupid as that. I'm going to celebrate this freedom to be lame by discharging small scale explosives late into the evening at high risk of injury or death to myself and others. You like that, Brits? I thought so.

I find it puzzling that an animal that lives in rivers, lakes, marshes, swamps, and estuaries (whatever those are) would be known as just a "river" otter. They couldn't have given it a more all-encompassing name? What about "water otter?" That seems a better fit, even though it's a bit of a tongue twister. And speaking of tongue twisters, do you know what they call it when you murder a bunch of otters? A water otter slaughter. And when the murders are based on the relative attractiveness of the otters? That's a hotter water otter slaughter. The unsavory fellow who plans these murders is known as the hotter water otter slaughter plotter, and the guy who later identifies him in a police lineup is the hotter water otter slaughter plotter spotter. Man, this is dumb.

Happy 4th of July, my fellow Americans, from me and the many-water Patriotter! And to those of you who aren't Americans and won't be celebrating anything today... I'm sorry you wasted part of your day reading this. Actually, that probably goes for the Americans too. Apologies all around.

21 comments:

Mike Henseler said...

Oh my goodness, what a post.

Shane, that otter is reeeeally gorgeous! I love your work and will stay a favorite sp-otter of your blog. (By the way: Did you use a pl-otter to draw the otter? :o)))

Take care and keep going.
Bye, Michael

Jacob said...

I'm overwhelmed with patriotic feelings thanks to this water dwelling North American Mammal. Beautiful as always.

Angela said...

Wow, this is fantastic. I'm swelling with patriotic pride.

Richard Gaines said...

I'm loving the all-American otter!! I did one to.

Hope your Fourth of July went well!

Tyler Roberts said...

Do you think that all of the carcasses of the hotter water otter that were slaughtered by the plotter, and identified by the spotter, end up being nothing but fodder, possibly for the non-hotter otter that avoided slaughter by the plotter because they weren't hotter? Sigh - it's sad really, but that's the circle of life.

Fe said...

LOL Best tongue-twister ever!:)

L. D. Torres said...

I think I'll just be taking my apology and then be on my way this time... and that hat... I'm taking that too...

jk, great post as usual shane, i've gotten almost both of my friends to start following your blog and tweets! Sir Meows-alot is definately down... the other is my mom, (I'm still workin on her).

thanks for giving me a reason to celebrate both independence and lameness simultaneously!

Sean "It's a capital N actually" McNally said...

man, whatever is written on the inside of that hat must be so god damn PLEASING to read. look at how happy he looks. I bet he wrote a heart warming american anecdote, so that he might cheer himself up whenever he starts to feel anything other then 101% patriotic.

huh? what? oh yeah! Love the drawing bro!

PICOCUE PICUA said...

EXELENTE BLOG, TE FELICITO!!!

VERY NICE BLOG AND WORKS!!!

Adam Koford said...

This is great!
We should communicate via each others blog comments all day even though we sit feet apart.

Heather Dixon said...

Otter slaughter. Hahaha. Brilliant. This made my day about a hundred times brighter.

Nathan Lindsay said...

nicccccccce. Ask me about my otter story sometime. It has a photo for proof.

swahnen said...

Well the illo is great and even a swede as myself can understand and enjoy your funny text... keep up the good work!

Ivan Oviedo said...

Hi Shane,

This is very inspiring, comgrats.

Robin Goodfellow said...

The job description doesn't fit on my client's (a hotter water otter slaughter plotter spotter) business card. Should I just go for HWOSPS? Sounds like he made a mistake and doesn't know what he is doing. Which is precisely what the hotter water otter slaughter plotter's wife doesn't want to hear as she just lost her husband to, not only a lurid affair with an otter woman, but dammed to a life sentence too.
How you think I should list it?

Robin Goodfellow said...

a mistake with a lisp.

Jose Ramos said...

Nice and funny character Shane , Congratulations!!

Heather said...

Look what you've started...

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/07/28/ap/congress/main5194651.shtml

Someone in the House had to have seen your Patriotter. I mean, isn't it kind of convenient that you draw this and then this bill just happens to pass...

S.T. Lewis said...

Wow... I've saved the otter without even meaning or trying to. At least I'm in favor of saving the sea otter. Imagine if they had misread something I was just making a joke about. I better watch what I say now that I know the strength of my words. Thanks for the link, Heather! And thanks to all of you for your comments. As I've said before, I never say much about them, but I enjoy reading them. Y'all are the best!

Heather D. White said...

ROFLPIMP! I have so missed reading your blog!!!! LOL!!! This one is a HALL OF FAME entry!!

Anonymous said...

because i have no life i have been reading through all of your posts.... you are freaking hilarious!! this was my favorite post so far!
sincerely,
some girl you'll never meet who obviously has a rather corny sense of humor to enjoy this post