Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Those Sleepy Bears

During winter months when food is scarce, bears take really long naps. This extended period of sleep is known to the scientific community and to other people who think they’re better than me as “hibernation,” and it generally lasts between 100 and 200 days, during which time the bear does not eat, drink, brush its teeth, exercise, or use the restroom. As lazy as that sounds, bears actually lose up to 40-percent of their body weight during this annual celebration of inactivity. And I ate better and exercised more to lose weight? What was I thinking? I hate exercise almost as much as I hate salads, and I totally LOVE sleep! Imagine how much money I could have saved and how much weight I would have lost if I had just slept for the six months. Bears are geniuses… lazy, wonderful geniuses.

Did you know that, for every person killed by a black bear in North America, 60 are killed by domesticated dogs, 180 by bees, and 350 by lightning? Maybe bears aren’t as dangerous as we all thought they were. Wrong! Bears are exactly as dangerous as we all thought they were. What I'm saying is watch out for dogs, bees, and lightning. Those things like you kicking them even less than bears do.

20 comments:

Fe said...

LOL true true..

The Youngs said...

I've kicked dogs and lived. I've at least attempted to kick bees and lived, but just to be safe, I think I'll skip any opportunities to kick lightning. Shane, you may have just saved my life!

damon said...

that is how i feel every day

nice drawing

Lighting said...

The moral of the story is beat your bear and not your dog.

ilPiccioneGrasso said...

really cool blog! i love your works!

GhettoFab said...

hahaha Ive got the sleep thing down just have to work on the rest of it...

This pic is exactly how I looked after gettin back from vacation. You would think different


Brilliant illustration as well as awesome " hey I didnt know that" stuff

L. D. Torres said...

bears are not the laziest animle ever and i can find so meny peple to prove it, and i'm only 24! back to the abassle plain with you! i'm off to warn the nation's teen population...

S.T. Lewis said...

HA! Any chance to bring up the angry killer whale is GOLD! I'm glad you went there... that made me laugh.

You know, I hardly ever respond to the comments you all post on here, but I read them all and enjoy them. Sorry I'm not better at communicating with everyone after I post stuff, but THANKS for the comments! They keep me going. Y'all are the best!

Ben Reynolds said...

This guy is great dude...he definitely needs a coffee STAT. Love the details of the cobwebs etc..great job!

Lester DiLorenzo said...

The cobwebs are an excellent addition. I wouldn't really want to that toothbrush.


but he's a bear. that one's probably just for show.

Nathan Lindsay said...

I squint every time I look at that light bulb. your attention to backgrounds this past year is making me think you are trying to "get better" or something.

Ken Chandler said...

What an amazing coincidence...
Just the other day I was kicking bees of my dog, when a bear was struck by lightning. Okay, that's not entirely true... I don't own a dog.

Regardless of what a big liar I am, your bear is insanely cool, and your treatise is hilarious.

Thanks for taking so much thought on the topic for our benefit.

justdoodleit said...

Love your blog and your style. There a nice warm glow in all your pictures!

Ben said...

Perfect face on the bear, it really makes us believe he hasn't used that tooth brush or anything in that bathroom for months.

Tooninator said...

Your writing is as amusing as your illustrations. Keep at 'er

Eric Z said...

Another great illustration accompanied by a lot of interesting facts. I remember watching the Life of Mammals documentary series the BBC put out a few years ago. They go through a bears feeding stages after hibernation and it's pretty fascinating just what they eat, when and why. It seems to all gravitate around the hibernation. The same documentary showed footage of musk rats paying beavers "rent" (twigs and other foods) so they can lodge over winter with them in their beaver huts.

tinylittlesandra said...

haha.. thanks for the heads up :O) Hey, I got that post card today! Woohooooo... thanks a million!

Damion009 said...

i just want to say i love your style dude!!!! it's um.... cool awesome!

Ron Cohee said...

Your art is very inspiring, and always makes me smile. Please keep it up, and all the best to you!

Ian Summers said...

I love this. It look's like me this morning. I'm not quite that hairy.