I am proud to announce that The Handsome Manatees are this season's fantasy basketball champions for the first year in a row! It is an honor for me to have coached one of only thousands of fantasy basketball teams that can call themselves "champions" this year. I'd like to thank LeBron James, Tony Parker, Rajon Rondo, and Chauncey Billups for helping the Manatees claim this not-so-prestigious honor. And let's get a round of applause for all of you who also managed teams in our league this season. Without your mediocre performances there for a comparison, how could I have proven to anyone (or especially to you) that my team rocked? There will be a special seat set aside for each of you on the front row of the Manatees' victory parade... and if you arrive at the parade and find that there are no seats, please still throw money.
Now that the fantasy basketball season is over, the non-fantasy NBA Playoffs (also known as "the NBA Playoffs") have begun. And this year they're better than ever, because as of a few days ago, we are now able to view them in high-definition. Going from regular, low-def TV to glorious HDTV is the best upgrade since "black and white" gave way to "color." Or as I said on Twitter: "What if you ate plain hot dogs for 33 years because you didn't know about mustard? We got HDTV today... which is like mustard for the eyes." It is truly incredible, and I highly recommend it (speaking of HDTV... not of putting mustard in your eyes).