Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Beach vs. Ocean

It baffles me that anyone would go all the way to the beach just to sit on the hot sand and bake in the sun. If that was what you wanted to do for your vacation, you should have just gone to Barstow. It's a shorter trip for most people, and Barstow has more than enough sun and sand to burn you and bore you until you're dead. When people say they like the beach, I think what they are trying to say is that they like the ocean... they were probably just confused because the beach and the ocean share the same parking lot.

That being said, here's a picture that will probably keep you from going into the ocean the next time you're at the beach. This picture shows what I see in my head every time I swim in the ocean. Fun, huh.

One time I was swimming off the coast of San Diego with some of my brothers-in-law, and we watched as a helicopter flew over us with a "News 8" logo on its side. The helicopter circled back and stopped directly above us. We commented that it must be a pretty slow news day if they were filming people swimming, and we waved at the cameras. Later that night while conveniently watching News 8, we saw footage they had taped earlier that day... a few stupid-looking guys waving to a news camera completely unaware that they were surrounded by about fifty 6-foot-long leopard sharks. The following morning we were still at the beach, but for as much as I swam that day, I might as well have been in Barstow.

Did you know Barstow is the home of the very first Del Taco? Are you kidding me? The first Del Taco AND shark-free "beaches" all in one place that is noticeably cooler than the surface of the sun for almost three months a year? Pack up your 3000 SPF sunscreen, my friends... we're going to Barstow!

Wow - that was weird. I was going to write something about Shark Week, and instead I just ended up making fun of Barstow. If you're expecting a postcard from me, they'll be on their way before too much longer. It seems I grossly underestimated how much time it takes to write on 100 postcards.

26 comments:

Sam Nielson said...

This is an awesome image. I used to want to be a shark, when I was a kid. But my mom tells me I was terrified of the water, and screamed if I ever had to take a bath.

It's been years since I had that fear, but now you've introduced some imagery that will probably keep me out of the water for a while. Thanks.

Andy J. Latham said...

Haha, I'm going on holiday (vacation to you americans!) to Florida in a couple of weeks. I think I'll avoid the water!

Michael said...

I recently went snorkeling in Hawaii, and realized that my fear of sharks actually increases when I'm able to see what I'm swimming with.

The scene that helicopter saw of you and your bros-in-law is exactly what I imagine anytime I'm out beyond where I can touch.

Thanks for reminding me of my terrible fear for sharks in the ocean. Barstow does sound great, now. No sharks AND a McDonald's in a train!

Jonathan said...

Great pic! I really love this one.

Jacob said...

I saw this on toon club and it still makes me heart skip a beat. I think I might be a borderline sharkophobe. Oh, sorry, Selachophobia is how I am called when I am afraid of sharks. See. Your blog is educational!

GhettoFab said...

hahah love how ignorance is bliss


thanks for the fun stuff mr shane! can never get enough

Laura said...

Look mom, no legs!

haha, this one is great! I've never even heard of Barstow before. This was an educational experience too.

Adam Koford said...

BARSTOW IS FOR SUCKERS!

Cody and Felicia said...

Personally, I love going to the beach/ocean so I can wade in the water, enjoy the scenery, and relax on the beach. I love taking pictures, though I'm not a photographer. I wish! Del Taco, eh? C and I love Del Taco, we'll have to stop by and see the original someday! P.S. That's what I see when I swim in the ocean too. *sigh* Oh and I'm looking forward to the postcard, so excited!:)

Rebecca Davidson Photography said...

I HAVE MISSED READING YOUR BLOG!!

L. D. Torres said...

I just came back from Sunny, shark-infested San Diego myself! sadly, i missed your limited time only postcard giveaway extravaganza :( but at least i'm not that guy who got eaten at La Jolla recently. I hear Barstow is renovating certain hotspots to now include luxurious patches of grass! you don't hafta tell me twice! Here I COME!!!

krisztina maros said...

okay... you've gained me over! go to Barstow! :) great concept and your illo is so cool!

SCOTT BURROUGHS said...

Wow- this illo rocks-totally fun! It's really well done too. Great job...

thefridayfrog said...

blame speilberg...oh and that mayor that wouldn't close the beaches for the 4th of july. tsk,tsk,tsk...

awesome illio, shane! love love the p.o.v! :))

Tammy said...

I've been reading your blog for a few months now and thoroughly enjoy it. You crack me up! I love your art as well. Keep the humor coming!

MayY . C 五月媽媽 said...

A fun topic of IF entry that I've seen so far! Great! Excellent!

Alexandre Vieira said...

Love the illustration.
You're like me when I'm in the water - always affraid if any shark appear...

damon said...

rad

galvinator said...

Just found this blog thru a link. Your work is fantastic man. Gotta trawl thru the archives when I get the chance, but fantastic image!

Zach said...

LOVE Del Taco! And your artwork. Thanks for an amusing break from my tedious day of work!

Ken said...

haha thats an awesome story man!

Brian and Sandy White said...

And all this time I thought I was the only one that thought sharks were constantly swimming around me... :)

aintshakespeare said...

Fantastic picture. I'm sending a link to it to my wife so she will understand my fears a little better.

Can I tell her this is a photo?

Hilarious, as usual.

Heather D. White said...

If I had a buck for everytime I end up spitting out my drink all over my laptop from laughing so hard at some of your entries, I would be a seriously rich chick. But since there isn't anyone that is willing to pay me for something like that, I just sit here laughing myself to tears and think how seriously awesome it is that Best Buy has such an awesome warranty. Otherwise, I would be just in tears...no laughing. LOL! ;-) Love this entry Shane! HEY..and got my postcard. YAY! Totally blogging about that, you can be sure! I've added it to my "Shane Lewis Original" - do you remember what it was? Shall be blogging about that as well. BTW....Madre said that Folkman's have RSVP'd and the Lewis' have not. Better get a move on if you want to make sure you get a BRAT! ;-) LOL!

Blogerts said...

True story. Just ask his bro-in-law.

j.etienne said...

terrifying picture,great effect