Dead Man's Party

If you're a zombie... congratulations. You've just been granted a second chance at life... a chance to do all that you missed before your original demise. So why is it that the first act for most of the "living dead" is to vandalize people's homes? Are they lying in their graves thinking, "I totally wasted my life! Why didn't I spend more time kicking in walls, ripping doors from their hinges, and uprooting floorboards?" Then along comes some curse on humanity or a Michael Jackson video (it can be difficult to differentiate between the two), and without hesitation they set out to inflict property damage.

If I ever become a zombie, first I'm going on an Alaskan cruise, because as things are shaping up in my current life, I'm going to die before that happens. A zombie cruise ship... take it and run, Hollywood! Pure gold. This zombie has decided to enjoy his new life a little. It's a dead man's party! Who could ask for more?

Actually he was probably alive and well before he had a bite of that cotton candy... vile snack food of the damned!