From what I've observed, our six-month-old daughter has a very limited number of hobbies, and at the core of each of those hobbies is one common element... they all hurt me. She grabs my nose, gauges my eyes, bites my fingers, kicks my shins... I'd never considered that raising a child would be so similar to getting tangled up in a bar fight. The only difference is that I would fight back if I was in a bar fight, but because it's my daughter who's unintentionally mauling me, I just smile... and gently apply pressure while I wait for the blood to clot. In the past I always objected to being abused in these ways, but recently somehow it's become kind of cute. Besides, there's more blood where that came from, and being assaulted by your kids isn't cute forever... best to enjoy it while you can.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Babies Bite
From what I've observed, our six-month-old daughter has a very limited number of hobbies, and at the core of each of those hobbies is one common element... they all hurt me. She grabs my nose, gauges my eyes, bites my fingers, kicks my shins... I'd never considered that raising a child would be so similar to getting tangled up in a bar fight. The only difference is that I would fight back if I was in a bar fight, but because it's my daughter who's unintentionally mauling me, I just smile... and gently apply pressure while I wait for the blood to clot. In the past I always objected to being abused in these ways, but recently somehow it's become kind of cute. Besides, there's more blood where that came from, and being assaulted by your kids isn't cute forever... best to enjoy it while you can.
Heehee. Your pain and suffering cracks me up...
ReplyDeleteMainly because you did a hilarious drawing about the topic.
Also because I am evil.
Your daughter only is doing what we have so badly been wanting to do for so long. PWECH (I don't know how to spell it, but you know what I mean :) )
ReplyDeleteEric totally understands where you are coming from. Megan really likes to jab her finger in his ear.
ReplyDeleteThis is especially hilarious because of how true it is. LOL! I can't tell you how many times I have had black eyes from my kids wacking me or chucking toys or suddenly slamming their head into mine in the process of having a tantrum. But as soon as they turn around and see me holding my face with a tear of sheer throbbing PAIN rolling down my cheek, they give me loves and say, "I sorry Mama." Good crud. I wonder if any bar fights would end in hugs and kisses if the person assaulting were to suddenly turn around to the person they just knocked out and said, "I sorry." LOL! Probably not.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Chas ruined my entire oral reading of your blog entry today by interrupting to say, "HOW the heck would a 6 month old KICK his shins?" I sincerely apologize for his lack of imagination. LOL!
In the near future, when your daughter is ratting out your foibles to your parents and, worse, your in-laws, you will look back on these times and miss them.
ReplyDeleteWhen my daughter was about 18 months old we were wrestling and I picked her up. Her feet were swinging with glee and she accidentally kicked me square in the place I least wanted to be kicked. I thought I deserved a father of the year the award for gently setting her back on the ground and quietly retreating to the bedroom to cry in my pillow.
Great picture. Innocence verses tolerance. The cub is adorable.
Shane, you've captured the look on the adult tiger's face perfectly! I personally think that kids are like have a mini-drunk person around the house - can't talk that great, stumbling and bumping into things, etc. I'd like to see a drawing of that!
ReplyDeleteU rock.. absolutely, irrefutably ROCK, dude! :)
ReplyDeletethe cub's too adorable - and equally hilarious is the 'tolerance' expression on 'dad'! :)
heheh you never miss a beat. Thats why your my hero! I need to come visit you guys over there. Life is so drab since the move... :)
ReplyDeleteHa! Very funny, yeah, my four year old has practically broken my ribs a few times already . . . Great drawing, wonderful design!!!
ReplyDeleteYou have a very healthy attitude about child raising Shane. Good man! Your illustration says it all.
ReplyDeleteWhen my first born son, Drew, was only about 18 months he enjoyed sitting up and throwing his weight back so he fell onto the bed. Then one morning I found my face directly in line with the back of his head. Of course, I sat up with my nose gushing blood. Good times! I laugh pretty hard about that now.
Great Shane! I would say that you are hilarious, but there is always that awkwardness when people say that. It is kind of like when my mom commands my brother and sisters to tell her a joke.
ReplyDeleteAnywho, the last couple posts are brilliant.
hmm. i thought my 10 month old was the only one to do that... i look like a lush my nose is so red from being squeezed, pinched, picked, bitten and scratched.
ReplyDeleteI want your mind...give it to me NOW!!!
ReplyDeletewoow !!
ReplyDeleteit's amazing all your blog.
great line, great colours, .....
fantastic !!!!!
bye
haha, you have just put me off children for life!!!
ReplyDeleteSounds like she is a martial artist in training.
Sweet drawing man. I love the expressions. Just be thankful you dont have a biteable tail!
Just be glad you don't have a beard. I have been reminded my whole life how I used to constantly pull my step dad's beard. And that I crashed his truck at about 16 months by kicking the stickshift when it was in park.
ReplyDeletehehe...I guess all daughters are really just out to annoy their fathers.
HAHA! this is definately the next disgustingly cute pic, the baby and puppy never saw it comin!
ReplyDeleteThese are pretty damn nice.
ReplyDeleteHaha...sounds like being a parent is great! I'll look forward to that! Hilarious man, great post, and love the Tigers...especially the baby. Great drawing.
ReplyDeleteVery nice! Always appealing! Please post more!
ReplyDeleteAaah the joys of parenthood...love the pic
ReplyDeleteWhat a great Blog to accidently to come across. Great artwork.
ReplyDelete